Ok, I was delibating whether to put this post in private or in public. Oh shit, I am in an industry which is entrenched in opensource. I am putting it up in public…damn the privacy.
[ This post is not deriding arranged marriage but rather the customary practices involved in it..So dont post your love marriage option in the comments ]
I am yet another idiot who believed in roots and shoots when you are in new different world. I have changed, so do my generation but what the heck, society (well , I am referring to one down south of Vindhyas) doesnt.
Here is the list of rules for this match making game.
Nice photos are necessary, if possible do a tummy tuck or skin grafts
Expectation from the society overrules the expectation from you.
Be sharp – you may get only once chance to talk/know the prospect before you decide.
You will be judged by parameters beyond your limits or concern. So you are f@#ked
Tall, educated and handsome – choose 2
You are valued not by your golden character but gold and caret.
Circle of love life should stay within boundaries of caste and creed.
If you find your options are limited, you are wrong , its severely limited. It looks more like blind marriage due to conformance to mindless customs rather than arranged marriage. It not I-hate-parents post but rather sorry for their hesistance to step up and break out the customs and their conformance. Everyone who plays the role wants a change in practices - parents, prospects , pandits ..but none wants to be the first ..we are Indians you know.
These days in California summer heat , a lot of things are driving me nuts. I am just going to shout loud here.
Some indians do strive hard to show their FOB status. A bunch of apartments here started tying up clothline in patios and drying out their garments including inner garments. I know it is eco-friendly habit but I dont want to see your bras, panties, oh yeah lungis and rupa banians hanging outside our beautiful apartment. People, please contribute $1 to your dryer and dry your clothes there. I remember seeing an apartment rule against this clothline act.
We got introduced to an old and cranky system called arranged marriage. Though I am ok with the system as a whole, there are some practices and customs which makes me go nuts.
Why would parents wouldn’t allow prospect to talk over phone/IM. Reports in Chennai found an answer – society is not mature enough. Not sure why it happens in tail end of India – broadband is available but not the broad-minded band.
Why the heck caste and sub-caste are doing rounds still when Indian law legalises gay marriages. Shouldn’t religion and mother tongue be enough for today. Not sure if people living around still knew the real purpose of caste. I still dont know what my caste stands for and I dont care what it stands for today.
It has been almost 18months when I started worrying about the economy and the end is no where in sight. NASDAQ has mood swings everyday and there is my own wonderful BSE SENSEX which goes up for no reason. Any online forum these days have more racists comments. I have to hang on to my dear job with a Damocles sword hanging over.
It is almost an year I have not stepped into the airport. Airport was intricate part of my business travel life. But it also was intriguing observatory point for human emotions. Among the crow-calls , orange alerts , gate jumpers , TSAs there were also real emotions.
There were people running in the arms of loved ones. People waving bye on soulful depart. Worried children scanning for their ever-present mom’s face. Travelers panicing to get into the gate at the last possible moment. Fathers cursing the info displays on teasing with ever present gate change. Young turks fuming on getting bumped off. Families moaning on delayed departure signs. And there is me , watching like one among the many camera just to get one glimpse of some hottie walking down the terminal like her own ramp, to make my day shine brighter. (Not much these days…I believe girls have scaled down their makeup due to recession)
Why I am blogging this because I came across MLTR’s song “Take me to your heart”
Recent Mumbai attacks makes our blood boil on the pathetic state of India. What would I have done if I ever the Prime-Minister of India.
Establish National Intelligence Group governing and combining all national, security and state-wide intelligence. This org would have direct liason with all international agencies
Increase NSG stations across 4 major metros with immediate effect. 6 major cities in 12months times. And to all state capitals within 2years time.
Increase NSG strength as this is the force which is going to be used often than army, navy and airforce.
Establish Director of Operations under National Intelligence Group. This is for all covert ops. It is easy for me to hit on specific targets rather than moving the armed forces for war/battle. You think the world is going to care if 10 commandoes carried a covert op killing 10 terrorists outside India.
Initiate a clearly formulated media policy on what to report, how to report (how many times to report) and what not to report. Make sure they understand the consequences for not adhering to the policy.
Initiate a national Crisis Management Group to oversee natural (tsunami) and man-made crisis. Chain-of-Command, media and public interface, accountability will be part of the group. Everyone needs to be accountable , including me, and punitive action should not be limited to firing the people from the position.
Ask Election Commision to put stringent conditions for anyone going to hold key posts like PM, Home Minister and Defence Minister. A career stint in Armed forces, Foreign affairs would do good. I don’t want 100% neta to be holding key posts. They will jeopardise more at the hour of crisis. Also enact 49-O policy giving people the right to refuse the choice of candidates.
Start a coaching class for all ministers and politicians on the following topics
How to muster political will.
How to stop blaming and start working.
How to build national wealth than your wealth.
How to take security seriously.
Effective letter writing for apologising and resigning
Travelling across continents, some little things stuns me. We all know Tortillas are like Chapathis, but did you know Chimichanga is like indian Poori. And “Goiya” in Madras(Indian) Tamil and Sao Paulo(Brazilian) Portuguese means same double meaning (stupid fool / gauva fruit). Malakan in Greek and Maakan in Tamil also means same (jerk) and can be used to refer a friend.
Summer meant a lot of time when I was in school/college. It meant
mangoes, vacations, lazy afternoons, cricket, tv, cinema, beach, grandma, chennai central, tinkle – chandamama, uncles, cousins, umlimited sleep, board games.
But soon, as you grow you take garbage. With hectic work I lost track of months, seasons. Work occupied so much in life, I feel I am overheated machine. Calls have dropped so much, I rarely pick up a personal call. Family and friends have been distanced.
What one comic book gave smiles, now one blog may give. If you are still thinking WTF is this about..this is about how ranting, gossiping and bitching is turned into an art called Blogging. After all everyone wants to be heard.
And if not for the bitching of above and innumerable personal blogs in my RSS reader, I would have be gone as a hermit long back.
I am building up work stress a lot. I used to shout alone until I got this free-gyan at 35k ft some weeks back.
Life is like a new movie. You never know whats going to happen. If you know the movie already you will not be interested.
Deadlines,promotions,power struggles in office-space will not matter in 3years from now. So why give a big-deal
Your relationship with your friends exists longer than your relationship with manager.
When you are promoted to father-ship, that’s the longest role in your life. So why give priorities to the roles existing for 8am-5pm. (Family comes first)
Have you invested in yourself before you invest in the market. You are more valuable to people around you than market is to you. (Health is more important than wealth)
When you fall in true love, make sure you never get out of it.
People tell you to think out of box. Have you ever though of people out of your box ?. Have you donated your kindness and not claimed tax-rebate?
I jotted it down so that I can make plaques and sell it on ebay. ;-)
Actually I didn’t get touch with my friends-circle often. Opportunity presented in god-gifted form with my ex-roomies visiting and ex-colleagues moving nearby. Let good times roll by!
My mood is even more up-beat after I listened to Seal in Toronto. I never knew soul form of songs or I could distinguish between indie-pop and hindi-pop until now. I used to be reserved for english music form, now I am all ga-ga for indie-pop & soul.
